Journal 10 - REALLY?

Am I REALLY considering having another? REALLY? I got some encouragement from one of Ace's favorite nursery ladies at the gym. She said, "If you are going to have another, do it quickly." I think she meant to add, "before you think it through too much." My Jesus is my joy but Ace is the next closest thing. When he loves on Jonathan I just can't imagine that I could ever be happier. If we don't get pregnant this month, it will be a surprise. I didn't buy the ovulation tests but I went online and calculated my time and it's supposed to be right now. It's just beyond my comprehension that, right now, God may be creating a miracle inside of me: someone for me to love and well...love is the most encompassing word. I am so fortunate to have Ace, what makes me think that I could possibly be deserving of another blessing so great? Maybe that's what is so wonderful about children. They are the greatest undeserved blessing we will ever have on earth next to the sacrifice of Christ. Hopefully this month will find me blessed.