Journal 12 - Wasting Money

So, of course, as soon as everyone left yesterday I whipped out the pregnancy test. I just KNEW it was going to be positive...I've been completely worn out, sensitive to smells, battling my complexion, hungry all the time.....and it was all in my head. NOT PREGNANT. It's kind of a relief to know that I'll go through the holidays with family, hiding nothing. On the other hand, I would love to put a positive test in Jonathan's Christmas stocking. Seeing Brookelyn and Braedyn reinforced to me this weekend that two kids is exhausting but last night, I just couldn't spend enough time with Ace. Jonathan took him upstairs to give me some alone-time and ten minutes later I went up there to snuggle, read, play and KISS. Yesterday Ace was very into kissing. I am completely inadequate to love Ace enough and having another heart outside my body will be equally as tough. So there goes another $10 down the potty to discover that I'm, yet again, not pregnant and totally crazy.