Journal 25 - Another round of hope

It's the 27th. I feel some rumblings in my stomach but I ate black bean soup last night. I expect to start any time but I am hoping against hope that these two days that I am late turn in to 3 today and then 4 tomorrow and so on. Work has been stressful and I haven't exercised in a week. I've been eating horribly and not taking great care of myself this past week. All of that will lead to a little indigestion and feeling off, I know. I am so hoping that I'm pregnant instead. A baby right now would be so welcome to my heart and soul. I am striving and working and painfully trying to be all that God wants me to be: gentle, quiet (that's the hardest), faithful, prayerful, humble, discerning, patient...so in line with that, God my desire for this baby is yours. You know that it's there and knowing that you will take care of my desire, I put your will above mine. Even if I'm not pregnant, I'm grateful for these late days that give me hope and excitement.