Journal 33 - 50/50

After 4 hours in the "not-so-emergency-room" I came out with a 50/50 chance of miscarrying. Not very encouraging. I made Jonathan stay at home to be with Ace. Probably not the wisest choice unless I think about how impatient he would have been throughout 4 hours of waiting. I got there about 6am, waited 30 minutes to be seen and shown to a room where the nurse stuck me with an IV and took a thousand vials of blood. An hour later I got a pelvic exam. Another hour later I got an ultra sound. 45 minutes after that they took out my IV and sent me home. The nurse said that my HCG levels (pregnancy hormone) are through the roof (20,000+) but that the ultrasound did not reveal a clear sac, baby or heartbeat - which all are normally apparent at this point. So I am definitely pregnant but they can't see a baby or tell if it's alive. The pregnancy hormones are kind of my pinprick of hope at this point. The bleeding has slowed and turned clear. The doctor also found that my cervix is closed during the pelvic exam...a good sign. I'm supposed to follow up with my OB on Monday. I hate looking up anything related to abnormalities during pregnancy because websites always give you the worst case scenario. So it's another waiting game. I'm living in the peace of the Lord moment to moment at this point. I love you baby and pray that you are safe and sound.