Journal 41 - Does it matter?

Does it matter whether it was a baby I miscarried or a false pregnancy? To me, it doesn't matter. The result is the same - I'm not pregnant and I lost something that I wanted and was so looking forward to. The sadness is the same. The recovery is the same. My God is the same. But, to Jonathan, it matters. He doesn't want me telling anyone that it was "just" a false pregnancy. I think he believes that it diminishes what happened. In my mind, they are both just as heartbreaking. Mom and Leah both said that they think a false pregnancy would be easier to accept because there was no baby. I've tried to look at it from every angle and the only thing I can see is that, from a guy's perspective, we were as pregnant as he would ever get - seeing the positive test and listening to me talk about it. So no matter what kind of pregnant we were, Jonathan was completely pregnant. For me - no kicks, no daily talks, no back pain, no doctor's appointments, no hearing a heartbeat, no any other emotional and physical link - I was less "pregnant." I don't think the life lost or potential for life lost is any less-worthy of my love and grief. The blood was the same. But it matters to Jonathan and I have to deal with that. Lord please give me wisdom and strength and thank you for the abundance you've already poured on me. I pray everyone can know your love.