The doctor looked inside and saw no "products" left over so I'm physically free of the miscarriage. I can return to my workout which is a big stress relief and life as "normal." No "trying" for two cycles and I told Jonathan that I would like to quit "trying" altogether. Meaning - I strongly dislike the whole idea of "trying" (I don't care if anyone else does it - it just doesn't make me happy. It makes me a stressed out mess and doesn't give Jonathan that lovin' feeling.) So we're done "trying" and we'll let God try for us.
She did say that she now thinks it wasn't a blighted ovum. The amount of blood and looking through all of the ultrasounds, she thinks that a baby formed but I miscarried. Taking some time to process that put a little fear in me. I would prefer a blighted ovum because it means that it's the egg and the sperm's fault - not really anything to do with me. I feel like it's more to do with me now and more likely to happen again (not "likely" just "more likely"). It's like the Lord was saying, "thanks for trusting in me these past two weeks, let's just keep it up until you get pregnant again and then for 9 months after that..." Ok, Lord - continuing trust. I'll try.
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