Before Friday, I had just secretly hidden a thought to myself about the miscarriage. I'm so glad I shared it with Brittany...
A few months ago, I was talking to my boss on the telephone. All of a sudden, I just had to "go." I told her I had to run but I'd call her right back. When I got back on the phone I actually said, "Sorry, I don't know what happened. All of a sudden it felt like I was having a miscarriage or something." I actually used miscarriage as a analogy for having to use the BATHROOM! Not ONLY that but I used it with my boss who had suffered several miscarriages before having her twins through fertility treatments. Really, Kelly?!
Sometimes, I lose my senses - particulary my common sense. It used to happen a lot when I was younger...like telling our landlord that my mom didn't like her curtains or telling my mom what my dad had bought her for her birthday. One time, I asked my dad if he was "sucking up to his boss" when that boss was about two steps away. It was forgiveable when I was under 10!
When I was on the phone with Brittany on Friday, I didn't really want to share that because it's really embarrassing but, because God knew I was ashamed of ever saying anything so thoughtless, I just felt the story come out before I knew it. I told her that part of me thought my miscarriage was punishment for being so flippant about miscarriage. Brittany reminded me that God isn't like that. He would never punish me by taking away my baby. He had already revealed the stupidity of my statement to me long before I miscarried.
I just needed to hear it said with the certainty and authority with which she said it.
Thanks Brit. I love you.
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