Journal 48 - I wouldn't call it "good"

So I need to clear something up on the record...I don't think that the miscarriage was a good thing.

I have said that everything happens for the good of those who love the Lord. That doesn't mean that everything that happens is good.

BUT, I believe that God can have good come out of even something this painful. I've seen things here and there that comfort me. I think, if it had to happen, I'm at least glad of this or that opportunity that wouldn't have happened otherwise. I feel like a lot of friends are going through some serious times right now and God has given me hope in their strength and perseverance. He has given me fellow strugglers. He has made me one of their fellow strugglers.

In that line of thinking...this blog has a new meaning for me. I named it "Kelly's Belly" to reflect my physical belly but I think it's turned into my spiritual "belly" - what's going on deep inside me. I may post here and there about the miscarriage from here on out but God is teaching me more than just how to deal with a miscarriage.

Really and truly, I just need an outlet since I'm at home working and mommy-ing all day. These posts are for me. So I can document my spiritual journey - imperfect and struggling as it is. I'm imperfect, worldly and sinful and I hope someday I can read these entries and see what God has done in me.