So, when you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, what do you do? How do you change? I have 28 good years of setting myself in my ways. I've convinced myself that the way I do everything is the right way. The way I put the dishes in the dishwasher - it's not the only way but it's the correct way. Cleaning the lint drawer every time I dry a load of clothes - it's not required but it's the right way, right? I'm not so sure anymore.
I'm sure that I would rather be happy than right.
My list of rights and wrongs is really getting in the way of my happiness. My problem is that I thrive in routine and I love doing things the same way every time. I am an ACCOUNTANT. I get paid to be that way.
God is really challenging me to change for Him. Change so that I can be everything He wants me to be and so that he can give me the things he wants for me. I want those things. I want to be the woman he wants. It's so hard to look at every part of myself and find shortcomings in the areas I felt strength before. It's hard to balance self-examination and being wary of feeling "not good enough" and like a failure. It's hard to look at who I am and have hope that I can become anything different.
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1 comment:
There is always hope! Your willingness to even look at what you want to change about yourself is testimony to that!! Grace and time- that's what I always have to say to myself!
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