1 month

I'm just dreading this week. DREAD. That shows how small my faith is.





I think I got pregnant on February 14th, 2009. I miscarried on March 24th, about a month later. I think I got pregnant November 15th this time around. So I'm coming up on one month and I'm anxious every time I go to the bathroom.





There are a lot of differences between my symptoms right now and at the same point in my last pregnancy. My breasts feel much more sore, like I can feel my milk ducts ramping up for service. My c-section scar isn't nearly as sore as I remember it being last time. I'm way more fatigued. I don't know what all of this means but I'm noticing every difference, hoping that it makes a difference.





This morning, I asked Jonathan to pray especially hard this week since it is about the same point in my pregnancy as last time. I melted when he said that he had already been praying about it. The unexpected wonders of a husband.





I just keep hearing God say, "Trust me." He is also reminding me that he knits every part of our babies in our womb. He has power over all life and has completely conquered death. Neither are under my control and neither are for my worry. Just trust.





My constant prayer is, "Lord, strengthen my womb. Help it to deliver all of the nutrients to this baby. Allow me to carry this baby to term and deliver a healthy, precious baby. I know that you are faithful."