Just trying...

...not to puike this morning.





Morning sickness is for the dogs.

Unexpected answers to prayers I didn't pray

It's said so many times..truths are funny like that...God is amazing. He answered a prayer for me today that I didn't even think to pray.
On one hand, I'm like, "Oh, why didn't I pray for that? Why didn't I entrust that to you?"
On the other hand, I'm like, "That's silly to beat myself up for not praying for something."
Finally, I just decide praise and thanks is the only thing I need to feel or think.

I never concentrate or think too much about the pressure of working. Why dwell on something that could develope into stress? But God provided a relief to my pressure in the form of a promotion for Jonathan.

God truly does delight in giving us blessings.
If I see Ace needs something, I will get it before he needs it. The sweetest sound is is OVER-enthusiastic and dramatic, "Thaaaaaaanks Mom." I just love it.

So, "Thaaaaaaaaaaaanks Lord." I know you delight in me even more than I delight in Ace. That thought is overwhelming and so undeserved. I just give you all of me in return.

Symptoms Update

As I munch away on saltines with my gingerale nearby, I am aware that this pregnancy is WAY different than last time. I am constantly nauseous, waking up every two hours at night to pee, diarrhea during the day...Jonathan says I complain but I say, "With GOOD cause!" Maybe this is the Lord's way of convincing me that this should be our final baby.





Just ran out of saltines, going to get more.





Baby, I love you dearly. But please stop making your mama sick. I'm ready to feel you kick and see you grow my belly. The babies were dedicated on Sunday and I prayed for you and cried with joy at the thought of doing that with you. Even without the church ceremony, I commit to teaching you how much Jesus loves you. I hope you can hear me and your big brother singing praise songs throughout the day. I hope you like them as much as he does.

Definitely Morning Sickness

Since I didn't have this with Ace, it's taken me a little while to diagnose myself. Morning sickness is definitely settling in. I've felt horrible since last Thursday: just an "off" feeling that lasts the entire day. Right now I'm downing saltines like they are chocolate. My grocery list includes gingerale, more saltines and chicken noodle soup.





Ugh. I don't like this feeling. It makes it hard to get out of bed or find a comfortable position to sleep in. BUT...this is what I've prayed for for months and months. So, time to find the joy in it!

Pains

Last night was nerve-wracking. I had a lot of stomach cramping and sharp pains. I'm hoping it was just growing pains. I dreamt last night that I miscarried. I woke up so relieved and just worn out. I could see the concern in Jonathan's face when I went to bed early.





Lord, I completely trust you. I pray against anxiousness, fear and bad dreams. Please protect this baby. Please form its little body and make my womb safe so it can grow. Place your power and protection on every place we are joined. Help me to capture my fears for you. Thank you for your control and my powerlessness. Amen.

Still Hungry!

This pregnancy is just like when I was pregnant with Ace only everything is magnified. I'm soooo hungry I am embarrassed at how much I'm eating. I just finished a Chik-Fil-A combo meal and feel like I could eat another one! Last night, my abs were spasming and felt JUST like a baby kicking. I thought, maybe I'm way further along...nope, just a reaction to my HUGE Stouffers dinner. Already feel a belly forming though I remember the fact that I never even showed with Ace until I was almost 7 months along.





Jonathan says I'm also complaining a lot more. Mostly, I'm complaining of fatigue, aches and pains. I've had a lot of tummy pains that are contributing to my nervousness. I'm waiting until the end of next week to call and make my first doctor's appointment. I just want to make it past this one month mark.

1 month

I'm just dreading this week. DREAD. That shows how small my faith is.





I think I got pregnant on February 14th, 2009. I miscarried on March 24th, about a month later. I think I got pregnant November 15th this time around. So I'm coming up on one month and I'm anxious every time I go to the bathroom.





There are a lot of differences between my symptoms right now and at the same point in my last pregnancy. My breasts feel much more sore, like I can feel my milk ducts ramping up for service. My c-section scar isn't nearly as sore as I remember it being last time. I'm way more fatigued. I don't know what all of this means but I'm noticing every difference, hoping that it makes a difference.





This morning, I asked Jonathan to pray especially hard this week since it is about the same point in my pregnancy as last time. I melted when he said that he had already been praying about it. The unexpected wonders of a husband.





I just keep hearing God say, "Trust me." He is also reminding me that he knits every part of our babies in our womb. He has power over all life and has completely conquered death. Neither are under my control and neither are for my worry. Just trust.





My constant prayer is, "Lord, strengthen my womb. Help it to deliver all of the nutrients to this baby. Allow me to carry this baby to term and deliver a healthy, precious baby. I know that you are faithful."

Tummy & Heart aches

I've known for a week and a half that I am pregnant. I took the test Saturday, November 21st. It salved the hurt of losing Meme. I told Jonathan last night. I have been sooo fatigued over the past two weeks - between pregnancy and potty training, I'm an exhausted mess. Every little stomach twinge, I'm anxious. Every stomach pain or cramp...and every time I got to the bathroom, I'm looking for signs for miscarriage. It's a really stressful time.





So I'm training my brain. Every time I feel scared about this pregnancy, I say to myself, "Dear Lord, please strengthen my womb and let me carry to term a healthy baby. I know you are faithful."





I'm mad at myself every time I get scared. I feel like it's a lack of faith in God, to be scared that I may miscarry again.





Thank you Lord, for giving me chance after chance to strengthen my faith in you over the next nine months. You are faithful. You are my help and my confidence.